10.06.10

turn your baggage into a bag of tricks

My name is Elizabeth.I am homeless.
I am messy.
I am a woman prepared for anything.

A long time ago, before I developed a love for free napkins, I always had a tidy, well-organized purse. Actually, I had a well-organized everything. An obsessive-compulsive friend once swooned over my sock drawer. I’m not bragging. I’m just stating a fact.

Then, at an amusement park one day, a bird mistook my arm for a bathroom. A bird who had obviously enjoyed a large meal before taking a cruise through the park. What do you know….not a napkin in sight.

I began stuffing napkins into my purse every time I saw them. Assured that I was prepared for anything, I walked around with one eye tilted upward, quietly muttering,

“Bring it, bitches. I’m ready.”
Recently, I didn’t have my purse. Why? I was venturing a mere five blocks to quell my soda addiction. Bird attacks? No way! Not in the safety of my car!
 
It’s too bad I promptly spilled all 32 ounces of sugary soda glory onto the gear shifter. In my attempt to catch the falling drink, I sliced my knuckle open on the plastic lid rim.  No napkins. No bandages.

Why had I been so shortsighted? Clearly, I was only prepared for bird attacks. Soda spills inside the car? A bodily injury? Anything could happen at any time.  I only live a few miles from the beach. What if I get sand in my eye? I wash my hands a lot. They could get chapped…I need lotion! I do care about my colon. I need fiber cereal!

There’s a difference between leading a cluttered life and a prepared life. I’m on the right side of the fence. I think.

October 6, 2010

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