delusion: the gift that keeps on giving

No one has ever verbally confirmed it, but I’m pretty sure I’m a genius.

Shortly after Harv and I started dating, he confessed that he had never used a coupon. Actually, confessed may be the wrong word…too repentant. Harv proudly declared that he would never be a victim in The Coupon Scam.

I took a few days to mull over our relationship.

Negative: This man threw away pennies and refused to clip coupons.

Positive: He was patient, loving, kind, intelligent, diligent, confident, generous, honest, handsome, understanding, empathetic, modest, funny, sincere, thoughtful, proactive, insightful, forgiving, attentive, romantic, an excellent cook, amenable to housework, not controlling, not prone to jealousy and understanding of girl time.

No side was the clear winner. Obviously, I had a lot to think about.

Undeterred by his lack of interest in saving hundreds and hundreds of cents, I secretly formulated a plan. For a whole week, I studiously clipped coupons from newspapers and scouted the internet for money-saving deals. I tracked my savings in a little notebook and circled my discounts on all the receipts for added emphasis.

At the end of the week, I smugly revealed my secret, weeklong experiment. I laid out all the receipts and calculated our total savings. I even modeled a beautiful pair of shoes I purchased with the money we would have spent had I not been so diligent and thrifty. Surely, he would see the merit in coupon clipping now.

Genius. Pure genius.

He looked over the receipts and then gently took my hand between his.

“It’s pretty amazing that you saved almost $45 this week using coupons.
You were right. I was wrong.
But the shoes cost $300. That’s not saving money.
That’s Lizanomics.”

It’s a shame my listening skills only picked up

“It’s pretty amazing that you saved almost $45 this week using coupons.
You were right. I was wrong.
The savings paid for the shoes!
That’s Lizanomics!

When smart people comment:
I’m just sorry that Harv is so bad with math. -Jenny, the Bloggess

In shoe money, $300 and $45 are pretty much the same thing.
Lizanomics is awesome. -Dana

photo via marthastewart.com

 

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