09.03.10

Thinking of You

Dear Child of Mine,

I sent you to middle school on Tuesday and yesterday I turned thirty. Doesn’t it usually happen the other way around?

I love you. I know it’s my obligation as a parent to say that, but I’m saying it right now just because I want to do it, and not because I have to do it.

I feel like we’ve grown up together. A lot of times, you were the one that was more mature, more patient, and more understanding. You’ve know all along that not everything has to be perfect, you sensed that what isn’t perfect can still be right. I’m still learning that.

Thanks for being so happy. Most mornings, as soon as you wake up, you are singing and humming. Everything makes you laugh. You think my jokes are funny. You eat what I cook, and pretend that it’s tasty.

I want to make you proud. One day, when you’re older, you’ll roll your eyes at me and think that I don’t understand, but secretly, I hope you’ll still be proud of me. I want to set a good example for you. I want to show you how easy it is to enjoy all the little adventures in life. So many people feel guilty about being happy and think that true happiness can only come if you work really, really hard to get it. They waste all their todays waiting for the tomorrows. They think that happiness only occurs on exotic trips or romantic restaurants or a front row seat in a stadium.

I’m guilty of these things, too.

I told you about my project. I kept it simple when I explained it to you. So this is what you understand-that Mommy isn’t shopping for a whole year and doing other things. Every day, as you see me face a challenge and defeat it, I want you to realize that you can do anything you want to do, too.

I think you are absolutely fabulous.

Your mother

September 3, 2010
09.02.10

Hello 30.

The only thing you should worry about is the part you’re at right now.
–a wise parent

I spend too much time worrying about tomorrow, fretting over today, and mulling over yesterday. It takes a lot of time. And then, I become anxious because I spent a lot of time worrying.

Enough!

Usually, I plan my vacations by scheduling multiple events every day and then I rush from one activity to another. Sometimes, I enjoy what I’m doing, but often, I’m just too nervous about the possibility of being late to the next fun thing that I forget to have fun.

I’m flying to Napa today to celebrate my birthday in the midst of wine country for four days. Except for dinner tonight, and a leisurely hot air balloon ride in the morning, there’s really nothing on the calendar.

I don’t like being overscheduled. How did I not know that about myself?

What’s a simple truth for you? How old were you before that truth dawned on you?

September 2, 2010