Monday Dare: I’m starting a gang

Every Monday, I’m picking from the List of Things to Do, Places to Go, Possible Acts that Help, and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I made before The Project started, and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list my Monday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”

This week: It’s your turn.

My life hasn’t really turned out the way I envisioned it would. When I was 12, I spent countless hours by myself in my room, door locked, window shades drawn, practicing dance routines I concocted with my tiny little brain. My masterpiece was a one-woman dance and mime show I would perform in time to Snoop Dogg’s Gin and Juice.

I envisioned my grown-up life having lots of friends and throwing barbecues on the weekend. At those barbecues, I imagined everyone would gather in the backyard in a semi-circle formation as I performed these dance and mime routines that I had secretly been practicing since the age of 12. They would whistle and clap and come up afterwards to give me high fives. Someone might even know someone who knew someone who could get me gigs on street corners where I could work for dollar tips.

None of this has happened yet. YET. They say real art comes from talent. I disagree. Real art also comes after 18 years of practicing a dance routine in secret.

This happens a lot- setting goals and imagining the future one way, and then arriving at the “now” and discovering it looks completely different.  Like today. I have precisely one month left on The Project. This year hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would.

Actually, I’m not even sure what I was expecting, but The Project and my Monday Dares have made these last 11 months pretty dope. Mostly, it’s your support and your love and your fucking hilarious feedback that keeps me going. 

So, I’m asking you- For this last month, I’d love for you to embark on your own Project. It can be anything. Forrealz. ANYTHING. Maybe you want to cut down your chewing gum habit to two sticks a day. Maybe you want to learn something new. Maybe you want to quit a vice. Maybe you want to  watch every episode of Three’s Company.

The added bonus of starting your own Project? Since we’re all doing this together, it makes us part of a group…a gang if you will. So if anyone asks what you did today, you can say you joined a gang. You’re welcome. 

So, what’s YOUR Project? And if you’re not ready to embark on your own Project, no pressure. What are you considering?

P.S. Know someone who might like to be in a gang? Please forward this on. You can also tweet or Facebook share it by clicking the buttons below. Let’s roll deep, yo. UPDATE: I have just been told this is called Recruitment.
image via ilovecharts.tumblr.com

Inbox Invaders

I love emails. That’s because I love specials, coupons, discounts, run-of-the-mill sales, limited time offers, clearance deals, private sales, end of season sales, beginning of season sales, holiday sales, it’s-my-birthday-month sales, and anything else that helps me save a dollar. Or a quarter.

Before I started the project, I decided to make a list of all the retail stores and sites that sent me these seductive love letters of savings, and ceremoniously unsubscribe on my birthday.

Just before bed one night, I asked my husband to estimate the number of my subscriptions. He guessed a whopping 50 to 60. I laughed at his figure….who did he think I was? A retail email junkie? Puh-lease. I guessed a mild 30 to 40.

I hopped out of bed and just to prove him wrong, opened up my inbox and started counting. When I passed 40, I started to glance back to my husband, hoping he wasn’t counting over my shoulder. When I passed 55, I prayed he had fallen asleep. At 75, I started to sweat a little. At 99, I started to giggle a little, ’cause frankly, it was a little ridiculous.

111.

Whatever. Nobody’s perfect.