Monday Dare: Happy Birthday. I’m sorry I stole money from you. (& Cal’s Birthday Giveaway)

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. Click on the link to see the complete list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week: Celebrate. A LOT.

Cal: Mommy, do you think we’re both going to become adults at the same time?

Me: Uh, what do you mean by that?

Cal: Like, by the time I’m mature, do you think you’re going to be mature too?

I wish I had better answers for all of Cal’s difficult questions. Do you think everyone can be happy? Can you explain quadratic equations? Why did you take money from my piggy bank without telling me so you could buy that lip-plumping gloss?

There is still so much I don’t know.

When a hospital nurse offered to take our first mother and daughter picture, she saw the apprehension in my face and assured me, “Don’t worry, you won’t break her.”

I asked to sit down first. I spread my arms apart and widened my fingers, trying to create a larger surface area. Then, I motioned with my head for the nurse to place her in my web.

Cal and I spent a minute eyeing each other. Her long eyelashes swooped up and down as she blinked, and then she went back to staring.

I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “It’s possible that I will never love anyone more than you. It’s okay if you break my heart, because I will still love you.”

I knew, I just knew, that I would never turn my back on her, that I would always believe her. I would never make her beg for acceptance or forgiveness.

I gritted my teeth as the nurse snapped our first picture:

(I am 19. Cal is just a few hours old.)
Happy birthday, kid. I always got your back.
___

I F***ING LOVE PRESENTS giveaway #4 (Pretty sure Cal has heard the “F” word already, but I’m keeping it G rated this week anyway.)

I f***king love presents. Maybe you do too. To celebrate this holiday season, I’ll be doing a giveaway each week until the end of the year. Get connected on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page and on Instagram (username: flourishinprogress) for not-posted-on-this-blog pictures, (t)hug life thoughts, and other random shi…stuff.

This week: The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxed Set (Hardcover) aka Cal’s Favorite Books of 2012

Every year, when I ask Cal what she wants for her birthday, her answer is always the same. Books. Lots and lots of book. She carries a book with her wherever she goes. She reads her favorites over and over again. Cal asked if we could give away The Hunger Games Trilogy as part of her birthday week celebration. That kid is so nice. My parenting skills must be OFF THE CHAIN.

TO ENTER: Leave a comment below with the title of your favorite book(s) from childhood. Just as I did for last year’s birthday post to Cal, I’m going to let her read the comments. If you’d like to leave Cal a little note, I bet it would thrill her. Only comments left on THIS POST qualify.

LAST WEEK’S WINNER: Knotted Tresses. Please email me at flourishinprogress at gmail dot com with your name (unless that is your real name, in which case, my bad) and your address.
first image courtesy of Bonnie Tsang

Shit. Another yearlong project? Kill me now. (Giveaway!)

Fuck. It’s the first time in 105 weeks that I’ve missed posting on Monday. I want to punch myself in the face. But as you know……

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. Click on the link if you’d like to see the complete list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week year: Attempt another yearlong project

I thought about writing this post three days ago in a celebratory “Errbody raise your pimp cup and let’s get crunk in honor of this blog’s two-year anniversary. We done did it!” It seemed like a nice idea, but if I’m being honest, it was only a very brief half-thought. The anniversary coincided with my birthday AND the wedding of my best homegirl. Also, I was drunk for most of the day. I see the way your eyes just narrowed a little bit. Gosh, Elizabeth may have a drinking problem. No, ma’am. I was drinking wine and champagne. That doesn’t make me an alcoholic. It makes me a goddamn socialite. Please refrain from passing judgment unless you are well-versed in these nuances.

Learn from me: Never start anything on your birthday. Well, if you’re like most people and quit projects around Day 13, then sure, go ahead and attempt any damn thing you want. I started Flourish in Progress on my 30th birthday to stay accountable during my yearlong shopping ban. By having a blog, my friends and family could keep track of every mistake. Then, at the next potluck, they could shame me and beat me into submission with the green willowy branches of a young sapling.

I wasn’t too worried, even though I bruise easily and have a deep fear of Tree Branch Death. With my strengths (nothing) and weaknesses (everything), it was pretty clear that I would start The Project, write a few weepy self-pity posts about privileged people problems, and then wake up on Day 13 with a “Fuck it, ain’t nobody got time for this bullshit revelation and immediately run to Target to spend a grazillion dollars. End of Project. End of blog. Body saved from Bark Devastation.

Then, some weird shit starting happening. A small sense of satisfaction took root in my heart. I started to feel happy. And proud. My confidence puffed up a little bit. I made friends. I talked to good people. Writing regularly about my life forced me to be honest. And not just with you. For the first time, I was really being honest about myself to myself. That shit’s not so pretty sometimes.

I used to think: I’d rather keep deceiving myself because it’s easier. But I wasn’t happy then.

I am happier now. Maybe your set-point for happiness is naturally high, so that sentence didn’t hold the weight it would to a person who has a naturally low set-point for happiness. Like me.

I am happier because I gave up something that was profoundly impacting the quality of my life and ended up getting more, way more, than what I gave away.

SO I WANT TO START ANOTHER YEARLONG PROJECT. AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

Once a month for the next year, I’m going to interview someone who embodies a quality or virtue I admire. Without giving away the entire list, a few I’m currently working on are: Hustle, Persistence, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I’ve reached out to rappers, comedians, actors, authors, athletes, activists, and fashion designers. And I’ve already locked down a few.

Y’all are the reason I’m able to sit down at my desk and turn on my computer sometimes. It takes me 5-10 hours to write these stupidly short Monday Dares because I had never written anything longer than an email before I started blogging. You give me my best ideas and more love and support than any motherfucker really deserves. Thank you.

So think about who you’d like to see as part of the 12-part series and what quality or virtue they might encompass for you.

Thank you for loving me when I didn’t love myself.

P.S. When Cal asked what I wanted for my birthday, I told her a pimp cane was #1 on my list. She said that since I only gave her $8 a week, I needed to keep it real. Fair enough. But, my friend Mike, DID get me a pimp cane. And I posted the picture on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page. “Like” the page to see more original content not featured on the blog.

GIVEAWAY TIME, Y’ALL

When Sara of BlueQ reached out several weeks ago with the kindest words of support and love, I was immediately smitten with this homette. I didn’t get to meet her during BlogHer, but she saw my Voices of the Year reading and totally didn’t think I was crazy. I don’t know if this means I have low standards, but anyone who doesn’t think I’m crazy is automatically part of the Best Friend category in my book.

I LOVE BlueQ products. About 80% of the time, I carry this pack of gum around in my purse:

You know, in case I need to give it to someone. I like to be prepared for these kinds of situations.

Sara and I chatted a little and I told her I felt a little fucked in the head about turning 32. A few days later, I received a ridiculously large box from BlueQ. A SMALL portion of the goodies is pictured below.

I SWEAR TO GOD I DID NOT ROB THE BLUEQ WAREHOUSE. The card that Sara included with the box is one of the best birthday cards I’ve ever received. Inside, she wrote simply:

I hope you make it to see 33. I really, really mean that. Love, Sara.
 
I can’t keep all grazillion dollars of this pimptastic stuff for myself. I’m picking two winners to share in this bounty.
TO ENTER: Just leave a comment below with your suggestion(s) on who you’d like to see as part of the interview series. They must not be dead or currently incarcerated. ONLY comments left on THIS blog post will count. No Facebook. No Twitter.
image via pinterest