Monday Dare: If you can’t spot the sucker…

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. You can click on the link if you’d like to see the full list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week: Don’t lose at poker. Again. 

When Harv asks a question, I usually have an answer. Sure, those questions sometime require extra explanation, like when he asked why there was perfume under our bed, and I rolled my eyes because, obviously, I put it there for protection against burglars. I then had to spend thirteen long minutes convincing him that perfume is equally as jarring as pepper spray when it gets in the eyes. Plus, I think it adds an element of class during a robbery.

Sadly, I’ve come across a few unanswerable questions in the past week:

  • How does it feel to have your ass handed to you by an eleven-year-old?
  • You want me to write out a chart of what hand beats what…again?

And perhaps the most puzzling:

  • Don’t you think your money would last longer if you balled up your dollar bills and threw them in the garbage can one by one?

I should really be packing my bags and running away from home instead of writing this because I now owe Harv and Cal something like seven million dollars. There’s been a lot of tension in our home lately. You know what comes between an eleven-year-old and the love she has for her mother? Gambling debt.

How did this happen? I watched Rounders FIVE TIMES.

I’ve enlisted the help of some professionals. I’ll be practicing on the down low all week long. I plan to casually challenge these coldhearted people I call my family to a friendly game this Sunday. These mofos don’t know how gangsta it’s about to get up in here.

Despite the best intentions and a lot of practice, has there been anything you’ve never quite gotten the hang of?
Are you a poker player? Any hints, tips, tricks?

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